


The kids get sick

by SDHSL-RarePair-Writer (Tht0neGal666)



Series: The New Warriors of Hope [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode
Genre: 3 fics???, Actual tags now, And nothing for these four in two years???, Angst, Anyways, Canon-Typical Violence, Cuddles, F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I wil fill this tag on my own, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jataro has synesthesia now yes??, Kotoko might have and eating disorder, Living Together, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mental Breakdown, Mental Illness, More angst, Multi, PTSD fr all of them, SO, Sickness, Someone Help Them, and nagisa has insomnia., basically everything is wrong with these poor children, everywhere really I guess now, how DARE, idk yet, implied child/sexual abuse, obviusly, rarepair, rawr, really??, should Masaru have ange issues?, warning in advance, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2018-12-13 04:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11751780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tht0neGal666/pseuds/SDHSL-RarePair-Writer
Summary: They've been living in a sewer, so it only makes sense that they get sick sometimes. The weird thing is, they never all get sick at once (in fact it usually happens one at a time, oddly enough). Thus, the burden of nursing each other back to health always fell on each other, and they wouldn't have it any other way.Edited by @flying_queenz (instagram)





	1. Nagisa gets sick, everyone cares for him

**Author's Note:**

> heya! I'm gonna be updating every other day as a warm up for NaNoWriMo. My NaNoWriMo project is going to be a sequal to this, so I'm trying to feel out the character of my fav. children while also adding to the repulsively small tag for these four. So, if you like what you read here, check that out!

\----

Nagisa was sick.

He knew this, of course. Falling ill was a common occurrence, doubly so when one happened to live in a sewer.

A situation that he, ruefully, found himself in at that very moment.

But, that was fine. It was fine that he was a little sick. It was fine that he was living in the sewers. It was fine that he and the others got sick often because of the aforementioned sewer they lived in.

It was fine, because they were down here. And down here wasn't up there. Down here had no demons (with their sharp words and perverted thoughts and angry eyes and fists and commands none of them had to follow anymore). Down here had no Monokumas (those hideous bears with claws that cut through metal and teeth that did the same and innocent, silly phrases that didn't match). Down here had no Monokuma kids (their former friends, though not by choice, so it was better they never faced the children). Down here was stinky and gross and dark and damp.

But it was safe. Or, at least, as safe as any of them could get. The Demon Organization "Future Foundation" was far too busy hunting down Big Sis Junko's "friends" that they hadn't cared enough to come after the four of them. Added to the fact that those annoying girls were busy with fixing the city and people instead of looking for them, and they had been able to remain hidden down in the sewers, right about where the adults had hidden from them only weeks ago. 

That was all besides the point. The point was that Nagisa lived in the sewers, and he was sick. However, it bore little consequence. He was sick often, even more so then the others, thus he could hide it well enough. No one had to worry. They had enough to worry about without including himself and his well being. They may not have the highest expectations of him, but he had them of himself (which might be worse) so it was fine. The others made such a big fuss when they were sick (on purpose or not, it didn't matter.), but that was fine too. The others weren't as mature as him, so it was fine for them to be sick and whine and groan and take all the blankets.

What wasn't fine, however, was them worrying about him. He could take care of himself, he could. He was smart enough to wait until they were all asleep to take the appropriate medicine and stubborn enough to brush off their concern with a believable lie and a smile (one that the actress/fighter easily saw through, but displayed a rare kindness as she pretended to believe him). The other warriors had plenty to plague their thoughts. He did not want to add to the stress they were all constantly under, living in fear of being found (or worse-separated) during the day and whatever haunted their particular nightmare at night, along with anything and everything in between. It was not fine to expect them to dote on him when he was sick simply because he did the same to them.

Sadly, he didn't seem to get a choice in the matter.

It had started out as a sore throat, so he had popped a cough drop (cherry flavored, Kotoko's favorite and his own least favorite, though that hardly mattered if she was happy) and a Children's Tylenol (he knew he should take a regular one, but that would mean he was becoming a demon and its the little things that count) just to be safe before getting a solid 2 hours of sleep.

Masaru woke him up, yelling in his ear. He groaned and rolled over, unaware of everything except how his whole body ached and his throat burned, as if he had gargled acid and his head pounded like a drum.

++++

Masaru frowned, not used to his friend refusing to get up. In fact, Nagisa was usually up before any of them, pushing them to get up before any of the demons so they could scavenge. So, Masaru did what he thought best. Nagisa didn't like physical contact, but it wasn't one of his triggers (kind of a confusing topic, but one he kinda picked after Nagisa explained it a few times). So Masaru poked Nagisa, trying to prod the Sage into waking up. When he first touched the other, he immediately drew back with a small hiss of surprise. Nagisa was hot! And not in the weird way that demons meant it. His friend was actually warm to the touch, so warm it kinda burned. He tilted his head, trying to figure it out. The last time one of them was this hot....

Masaru's eyes widened in understanding. Oh! Nagisa was...Sick? But he was never sick! As long as he had known him, Nagisa had never gotten sick (he threw up, sometimes, after nightmares or after working and worrying himself too much. it was fine though, because Jataro would get him a snack and some water and Kotoko would play with his hair calmly to ground him in the present and Masaru would remind him how much they needed him, even if he wasn't the leader). before, he was always the one who helped them learn how to take care of whoever fell ill or injured. He was really smart, it was super cool! And so, when he realized that Nagisa was sick, he got really worried. If nothing had ever gotten him sick before, then this had to be really bad! As his eyes widened at the idea, he scattered back to Jataro and Kotoko and shook them awake, relived that neither of them seemed warm to the touch. If they were taking care of Nagisa, they would need all the help they could get. Kotoko punched him when she woke up and looked utterly terrified and was shaking and Masaru felt guilt burn in his stomach for a moment because  __ _how could he forget,_ what kind of leader was he if he  _forgot_ about her triggers? So, when he saw the blow coming, for the first time in years, he let it hit because he messed up and he deserved whatever she had to dish out to calm down. It was only fair.

~~~~

But, before she tried to hit him again, she came to her senses and looked around, taking a deep breath. She noticed him (how he was tensed, waiting to be hit and shaking a ittle at the thought, though he wouldn't admit it if se asked) and frowned, sticking her tongue out at him. "Well, I guess that's one way to wake up." She hissed bitterly, evening her breathes and pretending she wasn't shaking. Good thing she was an Actress (The best, though that didn't matter anymore really). "What was oh so important that you woke us up so early?" She asked with a yawn, patting Jataro's head affectionately and ruffling his hair as he woke up. She gave a small frown as he put on that stupid mask that he found laying in the street. He still wore that ugly thing over the face all three of them agreed was ardorbs when they first saw (well, she said adorbs, Nagisa blushed and muttered it was aesthetically pleasing, and Masaru Just smiled), yet Jataro himself still actively disagreed and hiding his face out of the fear that seeing it would kill them all. 

They really needed to work on that.

Anyway, all three of them were awake, and Masaru noticed she was letting him off easy and shook his head to clear it of whatever angry rant he was going on. There were more important things to do. 

"Guys! Nagisa's sick!" He exclaimed, pointing at the only one still asleep for emphasis. Kotoko looked over with a strange pout, looking almost guilty, while Jataro tilted his head, taking a moment to process the statement.

====

"Oooh! But, Nagisa hasn't done that before!" Jararo laughed (an twisted and forced thing that was nothing like the bell-like chime of his actual laugh, a distinction only recently made), continuing with an excitement they might have believed a month ago (though it didn't matter if they didn't believe it-the problem was that he had fooled himself) "he must reaaaallly hate me now! I'm the priest, but I can't even keep away his sickness! Prrreeety disgusting, right?" He asked, turning to the other two with something that sounded like desperation. Lately, they'd been telling him how much they hate him less and less, and it was really worrying him (if he wasn't hated then what was he who was he who could he be what did he matter why bother keeping him around if not to be hated?). 

They both gave weird smiles (he would say they looked kinda sad, but there was no reason for them to be) at the enthusiasm (that sounded less and less genuine each time and how did they not notice before? What took them so long? Why did they feed this horrible mindset?) and shook their heads at the claim, masaru yelling at him.

"No way!" Masauru protested, interrupting Jataro (thats good, they hate him enough to cut him off, that was good) "There's no way Nagisa can blame you for this! I'm the leader, and I won't let him!" He boasted, confident grin in place as always. Kotoko just rolled her eyes and stated that he was 'way too adorbs to be hated by a meanie like Nagisa'. Jataro wanted to object (no no no, if he blames you and hates you then you'll be upset, he hates me anyway there's no reason for you to take the fall, it should be me it has to be me it should-), but Nagisa started coughing and they took the excuse to postpone this discussion. With that out of the way for now, they walked over to the tired boy. 

~~~~

Kotoko pressed her hand to his forehead and frowned as she realized just how bad it had gotten. She couldn't help but feel guilty. After all, she KNEW. She knew that he was sick, had been for a few days. If Kotoko was good at anything, it was seeing people (and demons) for what they were. She grew up an actress, it would only make sense that she could spot acting (when she wanted to, at least. That was the problem, because she should have seen through Monaca too, and she kinda did, but she didn't WANT TO, so she ignored what she knew was true. But it's ok now, because now she paid closer attention to all three of people that mattered, that's all that mattered now) right? Right. So, obviously, when Nagisa started breathing a bit too heavily and sweating a bit too much and grimanceing a bit too often for him to be in perfect health (not counting his limp, obviously. Being crushed by a robot . Yet, he obviously didn't want any of them to notice, so she gave him the courtesy of feigning ignorance. It wouldn't be fair to call him out on that! It would be like reminding someone pretending that they're invisible that you could see them! So she didn't. She brushed it off for him to fight off by himself because he always did (eventually, one way or another), and now he was lying here, burning up with none of them really understanding what to do for him because she didn't want to baby him. 

She shook the guilt off with a small nod. Why should she feel responsible? Nagisa was a big boy (but still a boy, remember, very important, he's a boy and not a demon) and he could take care of himself. If he couldn't then he could have asked for help. It was his fault for not trying to fix it.

____

Nagisa groaned as he opened his eyes, hearing the others talking amongst themselves a few feet away. Their voices had dragged him back into reality enough to start thinking thoughts more comprehensible then "ow", things such as "Why is everyone awake?" and then "I can't take any medication if they're awake". That last thought was followed with a quiet annoyed sigh that developed into coughing, drawing the others over to him. He felt a bubble of shame rise and he blushed a bit (though it might have just been him overheating, who's to say at this point) because they were WORRIED about him, because he had one thing to do and he couldn't even do that. Kotoko was glowering down at him, and that was fine, but what upset him was the glimmer of guilt in her eyes (she was guilty, why was she guilty, she didn't do anything wrong, it was HIS FAULT). Jataro was obviously worried, shaking a little in anticipation, but he covered it up with that sick excitement he forced on himself (if he listened closely, he could hear Jataro muttering about how much Nagisa must hate him, a claim that would make him scowl and refute if only he were aware enough to hear). Masaru was the only one who wasn't even bothering to mask his worry, frowning down at him and saying SOMETHING, but Nagisa couldn't tell what yet. 

He sat up, ignoring the pain as he rose to his feet (trying not to favor his good leg too obviously) and blinked a few times, covering his mouth to yawn as he finally woke up fully. With his awakening his sense of hearing sharpened, and he finally heard what Masaru was yelling. 

"Heeeeey! Naaaagisa!" the boy was dragging out, his shouts echoing off the walls and doing NOTHING good for the blue haired boy's headache. he gave an annoyed sigh (a common occurrence when speaking to the red head) and put out a finger to silence him, focusing on the boy. Masaru would give the most straightforward answers anyway. 

"What's wrong?" He inquired, staring the boy down to await an answer.

"What's wrong?! That's what we should asking you!" Masaru returned. "You're the one that's sick!" he shouted, the statement feeling like a stab wound. How did he know? Nagisa was sure to keep it a secret! He had done the same thing as every other time he got sick, why did he fail this time? What did he do differently? Was this linked to Kotoko's guilt? his head was swimming with questions, but he would sort those out later. At the moment, he needed to calm them all down and reassure them that he was fine.

"Yeah, and?" he scoffed, seeing no point in trying to deny the fact so instead deciding to down play it. It may prove difficult given how scratchy his voice sounded and how he was probably visibly sweaty, though he wasn't sure he could get much paler. 

"And, you should have told us!" the other growled, seeming aggravated (though Nagisa couldn't tell which of them he was annoyed with. probably both.) "Or at least me! As your leader, I should know these things, right?" He tried to reason, using the Sages words against him ("What do you mean Jataro's sick?" " *scoff* Isn't it obvious? Honestly, a leader should know these things." "Well, good thing I have my Adviser to help!")

Nagisa bit his tongue hard enough to taste blood, annoyed that he was unable to refute the claim without contradicting himself. He was annoyed enough to briefly consider agreeing with him, pinning the blame on the red head just to shut him up, but instantly dismissed the thought. Instead, he gave a dismissive scoff and moved on. Masaru's flashed at the victory, but fell back into concern in an instant when Nagisa started to sway on his feet.

"Ah! Nagisa, you should really lay down." Masaru pointed out, watching him and getting ready to catch him when he inevitably fell over.

"Why should I?" He challenged, stubbornly standing even as his vision began to tunnel. Unsure of how he could continue the conversation with Masaru (especially with how WORRIED he looked), he turned to look at Jataro. 

"Moving on." Nagisa muttered, waiting as Jataro took a moment to realize he was Nagisa's new focus. 

"Ohhhh! You're all sick...even though it's the priest's job to cast healing spells! Heehee, I couldn't even do that...you must reaaaallly hate me now!" Jataro giggled, rubbing his hands together. Nagisa expected that, sadly enough, and had already figured out the best response (hopefully).

"I don't hate you anymore then usual Jataro." He dismissed, shaking his head and closing his eyes. Poor choice, as it seemed that was the last straw and he fell over, Jataro giving a small gasp and kotoko letting out a suprised squeak, trying to step forward to save him. 

~~~~

However, she was beat to the punch (maybe a poor choice of words) by Masaru, who had been waiting for the boy to keel over and was ready to catch him when he did. 

"Seeee? Just talking to me Made your legs buckle up like a horse ready to kick someone's brain out...Imagine what SEEING me would do." Jataro commented a bit smugly, like he had won their ongoing argument, once Masaru laid Nagisa down carefully.

"You are gonna tell us how to help you get better, and lay right here until you're all better! Leaders orders!" Masaru barked crossly at the angry boy struggling to get up. With a look and a nod between himself and Kotoko, the girl held Nagisa down. Nagisa was obviously upset, but this was for the best. They knew Nagisa, and given the oppourpunity he would keep working himself to the bone, even if he was sick. They really didn't want to take his choice away, but they knew it was for the best (And, begrudgingly, Nagisa knew that too, though that didn;t mean he'd go down without a fight).

After a good dozen or so minutes of fighting to get up while kotoko kept him firmly in his cot, he gave a clearly annoyed sigh that made Masaru smirk as he won again (with some help, of course).

"Fine. If this is the stratagy that you three insist on, then there is little I can do to deter you." he muttered, voice coated in so much reluctance and spite (and fear?) that it made Masaru cringe, opening his mouth to take back his command. Cathing wind of her leaders moment of weakness, Kotoko started talking again.

"Good! I'm glad that you came to your senses! isn't that right, Masaru?" she asked, innocent eyes boring into him and compelling him to nod despite the fact that he was about to say the oppisite. seeming satisfied with his answer, she turned back to Nagisa.

"well, then that is that! So, what's wrong with you?" she asked, rolling off of him and laying next to him instead. He took a deep breathe as the weight was removed and he rolled his eyes. they had no idea what they were doing, why insist on helping him (He knew, of course he did, it's the same reason he helps any of them)? He decided it wasn't really worth the thought, his head hurt enough just from being near Masaru and he didn't need another headache.

"I belive that I have caught the flu, I have had it about a week-" a scoff from Kotoko and a growl from Masaru, so he continued before either could interupt "-and, if you are to heal me as quickly as possible, we will have to make a supply run in the morning." 

"you mean, WE have to make a supply run." She quickly intergected, refusing to let him get away with the blatent attempt at escape. "Masaru and me, that is." she elaboated, staring Nagisa down as anger flashed in his eyes only to be replaced by desperation. That...Might me a problem.

"yeah, whatever you say." Nagisa conceded, aware that he had lost this argument. She nodded. "Awesome! now that that's over, everyone down for dried cereal breakfast?" she asked, retrieving an unopened box of fruit loops. she handed it to Nagisa and asked him to separate them by color (she knew he needed something to do, and this was a simple time consuming perfect thing), to which he responded to with an eye roll (and a small, relived, smile). Masaru didn't bother pointing out that she couldn't tell them what to do, instead announcing that he was going to check the rain water buckets to see if they had any fresh water this morning while Jataro helped Kotoko set up a space to eat (a square with a towel that they ate everything on and washed on the off chance that they could).

about ten minutes later, they were all sitting around the towel, fruit loops carefully sorted and stacked by color. Jataro took the yellow ones, Nagisa got the blue ones, Masaru got the reds, and Kotoko got the purples (they may not match her hair, but it was such a cute color that it made up for it). The oranges were fair game, left in the middle for them to snack on at their leisure. 

The green ones were thrown into the sewer stream (a waste of food, sure, and for a stupidly childish grudge, but not even Nagisa ever objected to them discarding anything green, food or otherwise).

They didn't usually all eat together, the only exception being when one of them were sick. Usually, a pair of them would be out scavenging and the other two would clean or play or decorate or organize or do whatever to relax. They were set up near a large grate, so they collected rainwater and had a bit of natural light.

It was nice to all be together, she decided with a smile as Jataro moved his fruit loops around to make a picture and Nagisa was still trying to argue his way into work. they had a dysfunctional little group, but she wouldn't have it any other way. They all had their issues, but they also had each other, so it was more bareable.

Nagisa obviously wasn't used to being babied they had already known that, they all knew about each others backgrounds well enough. But, that didn't discourage any of them from coddling him. In fact, it was a challenge.

\----  
They agreed on letting him have the last orange fruit loop.

After breakfast, he wasn't allowed to help with cleanup.

They insisted he wasn't allowed to read any of his big fancy books.

Jataro taught him the basics of drawing.

Masaru shared stories of grandeur.

Kotoko gave him simple tasks that helped, but not enough.

They gave him the last bit of the medicine.

They let him pick lunch (canned corn, it went bad next week)

Jataro had him pose for a sculpture he was making

Kotoko played stupid hand games with him

Masaru talked about sports (as if all organized sports hadn't been destroyed).

He watches them do the chores.

He recites information he's memorized.

He wants a book.

Kotoko gives him the comfy pillow to relax on.

Masaru orders him to take a nap until dinner.

Jataro massages his achy back while he drifts off to sleep.

...............

.........

HE feels USELESS

He can't do anything, can't stay healthy, can't act healthy, can't keep them safe, can't do simple chores, can't sleep properly, can't go scavenging, can't help them, can't get paradise, can't accept that paradise was a mistake, can't forget HER, can't get rid of two pesky girls, can't walk without limping, can't be a doctor anymore, can't look at anything green without wanting to throw up, can't keep his friends from worrying, can't get them to expect anything from him, can't keep them hidden forever, can't even stand doing nothing, he can't, he can't, he can't he can't he can't hecan'thecan'thecan'thecan't, that why they expect NOTHING of him, even though they should, they expect NOTHING NOTHING nothingnothingnothingnothingnothingnothi-

They were sitting at the dinner table now, eating canned beans. he didn't remember getting over here, or sitting, or waking up, or putting the food in his mouth there (he can't even do THAT). all of this barely processes, however, as he starts shaking violently, setting his down roughly and vaugely wishing he had a room to lock himself in as he curled into a ball, feeling akin to a collapsing star as he falls in on himself, shaking and rocking and gasping but not crying. 

He never cried.

The kids were worried, but didn't really know what to do. They all had their bad moments, but Nagisa usually kept his pretty bottled up. all at once, after waiting a few minutes to see if they should just give it time (but quickly growing worried) before rushing over to his side, Kotoko poked him cautiously, afraid this was another trauma he somehow didn't mention. he flinched away from her (well, from her nail, but she didn't know that) and she backed off, unsure what to do. Her and Masaru reacted more violently, not at all like THIS, and they had no idea what to do.

====

Just as they started to panic, Jataro, approached him. He, for one, knew what he was doing.He needed to ground the boy, maybe shock him a bit. Jataro grimaced, as he got an idea on how to surprise him. his own hands shaking, he took off the mask. they had only seen his face a handful of times, and never with him willing. But, what better to remind you what was real then a hideous face like his? the burning pain of looking at him should center him on it's own. so, he took off the mask, thinking that Kotoko and Masaru were too busy pacing and arguing to see him. He wasn't that important.

He took Nagisa's face in his own hands, cold palms pressing against sweaty pale cheeks as he gazed ahead at nothing. the contact took a moment to process, but when he did he froze up, staring at Jataro in confusion. Then, as recognition sparked in his eyes, he did something that was probably spurred by the brain damage from seeing him. 

He kissed Jataro.

not on the mouth or anything, just a quick peck on the cheek and a smile that seemed almost proud as he commented on how pretty Jataro's hair was (Don't compliment Jataro's face directly was an early learned lesson).

Kotoko and Masaru stormed over, obviously relieved but putting on a front of jealousy

"Aww, how come he gets a kiss and we don't?"  
"That isn't fair!"

they wined, going on for almost a full minute before Nagisa shut them both up with a quick peck to the cheek, all four of them with red faces. Nagisa Yawned, and Masaru whispered something in Kotoko's ear. They ran off together and piled all the blankets and cots and pillows together, insisting they all needed to keep Nagisa company.

Jataro put his mask back on and Nagisa frowned, but let it slide as he led him to the pile of softness and laid down.

That was his first full night of sleep in weeks.


	2. Nagisa's sick, Jataro takes care of him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa's still sick. Jataro's the only one there to take care of him.

Masaru and Kotoko were not very quiet, no matter how hard they tried.

It was just a simple fact. there was nothing inherently wrong with that. It just doesn't work wonders when they're trying to sneak out without waking anyone up. And Nagisa was one of the lightest sleepers to exist, sickness or no. Thus, you can imagine his annoyance as they fought over cereal in a whispered argument that rang in his ears like an alarm. he stiffiled a yawn as he woke up, Jataro still curled up in the bed next to him (and around him, that boy hang off things in his sleep like a koala). Nagisa let out a small sad sigh as he realized that Jataro was still wearing his mask. It was a bad thing for him to sleep in, and it was more of a coin flip on whether he would wear it to bed then a certainty one way or another. After everything that happened yesterday, he had forgotten to remind the boy to remove it (he couldn't even do that). Despite this, Jataro was sleeping, and it would be rude to wake him, so Nagisa just wiggled his way free of the boy's grasp and made his way over to the arguing duo. 

"What is so important that you couldn't be bothered to wake me up this morning?" Nagisa asked as the two jumped in surprise. 

"Nagisa?! When did you wake up? We were sure to be EXTRA quiet!" Masaru yelled, making the blue boy cringe back at the sudden high pitched whine.

"I am awake because you guys are as quiet as Jataro is ugly." he stated (they all shared am understanding look and glanced at the unconscious boy before resuming the argument as if it hadn't happened in the first place)

"We were quiet enough to get out of bed without you noticing." Kotoko pointed out smugly. "We must have been as quiet as a mouse then, riiight?" she sang out the last bit, grinning up at him innocently.

"Well, miracles do happen." He snarked back sarcastically, to the surprise of the others (was that a joke? Did Nagisa make a joke?). He was just a bit too tired and a tad too comfortable around them to filter himself at the moment. "What was your plan anyway? You don't know what medicine to get." He stated, staring at them like they were stupid.

"We were just gonna grab it all!" Masaru claimed. "As the leader, I should make sure that we have it all! that includes medicine!" 

"Well, grabbing some medicine is a waste of time. A lot of it is made specifically for adults, and would simply worsen any of our conditions." Nagisa sighed.

"Hwy, we're doing this for you bossy! Beggars can't be choosers, right? Or, they can, but then they'll probably just die because of how pickey they are!" Kotoko pouted, glaring at the pale boy. Nagisa was so hard to deal with sometimes.

"I won't accept any medication unless you get it for the whole group. it would be foolish to limit yourselves such." he reasoned, his throat going dry at the prospect. He was already useless enough at the moment, they didn't have to waste their time for him specifically. That would be foolish.

"...Okay, then what should we do?" Masaru asked, whispering (or, trying too, he wasn't very good) to Nagisa, who replied with a scoff.

"grant me a few minutes and I'll write down a semi-complete list of everything that kids can have...I'll mark the things that would best help my condition, in case any of you catch it from being in an enclosed space with me. " He suggested, finding a pen and a scrap of paper. He wrote out two lists, giving one to Masaru and another to Kotoko while he was distracted for when Masaru lost his. 

"Cool! Thanks a lot Nagisa, now I can save you from this illness!" Masaru enthused loudly, eyes shining with heroic fantasies as Nagisa went as red as a cardinal. 

"It-It's not that big a deal...Just quest down, you'll wake Jataro up." Nagisa muttered, trying to fight his blush as Kotoko squealed, pinching his cheeks.

"You are SO ADORBS when you blush, Nagisa!" she teased, laughing as he went darker and pecking his nose for effect. Nagisa's eyes were glued to the floor in embarrassment, and Masaru had to whine at her to just 'get going already' to convince her to leave. With a dramatic sigh that only a true actress could produce, she walked over to Masaru. they both bid Nagisa goodbye and he stuttered out a reply and a warning (Be safe, say away from demons, etc) as they crawled out of their sewer.

Nagisa took a few deep breathes to piece together what remained of his dignity and assemble his composure before nodding to himself, face a pasty white again, and pulling out two granola bars, one for himself and one for Jataro. he set out the table towel and set the food down, taking the opportunity to walk over to where his books were being (poorly) hidden from him by the hero. HE pulled a medical studies book out and began to read it, going over each fact multiple times to imprint them all into his brain and making flash cards by tearing the pages in an adult novel out and writing over them (Jataro would paint over them in white first so it was easier). He couldn't bring himself to do this to children's books as the other three enjoyed them from time to time, and it was another one of those small revenges against adults he enjoyed, ruining books made for them to enjoy. there's no one publishing any of these anymore, not at the end of the world, so there were a finite amount of books and he was destroying that limited source. It felt nice) to use as paper and borrowing material from Jataro to write with (Black colored pencil, it was the closest he could get).

====

Jataro woke up with a quiet yawn, always careful to be really quiet when waking up. It would usually give him time to be alone and draw, without any weird and confusing feelings getting in the way like the leash of a dog that walks circles around you...He checked for his mask, and was glad to find it on his face. It was uncomfortable and itchy (like a dog fur blanket) but it kept the others safe. He might want them to hate him, but he still liked them. the problem was that they claimed to return the sentiment. They hadn't outright said it (thankfully, he wouldn't know how to react) but they all seemed much less mean to him ever since they had met up. He couldn't really tell why, but it almost seemed like they didn't hate him anymore. Just the thought had his eyes watering and lip trembling, evidence that pointed to them still hating him quickly flooding his brain (Kotoko's constant cutting him off, Nagisa sighing in annoyance, how upset Nagisa must be after what seeing his UGLY face made Nagisa do last night out of delirium because there was no other explanation, always making their heads too big when he draws them, annoying them just by opening his mouth, purposefully making them hate him, forcing them to see his face before he found his mask again, so so so so many reasons they should despise his existence). 

In the morning, he could get away from all of that and just draw and paint and color and create without thinking too much about any of that.

Unfortunately, he was the last one awake this morning. It looked like Kotoko and Masaru were gone (probably making sure to get away from him as soon as possible) and Nagisa was sitting in the corner studying (hiding from him behind a cabinet, but he couldn't make anyone happy and found the boy before he even saw he was awake). Jataro frowned, Nagisa seemed really into it right now. It wasn't good when he got like this. he would study and study and study and no one could stop him until he passed out or was forced to snap out of it by another necessity. Jataro didn't get it, there wasn't any school to study for and Nagisa was already smarter then Kotoko and Masaru (Nagisa was smarter then him too, but that didn't matter because it's not like Nagisa was trying to prove himself to HIM), so there was no real reason to study anymore. it was like a fish that could breathe air purposefully drowning itself because the water was what it's useful...So Jataro guessed he understood a bit. It's just how Nagisa is, all of them had problems and they all accepted each other (they even accepted him, though probably just to laugh at and mock him, like that one German word). 

So..he wasn't going to bother Nagisa. But he wouldn't leave him alone either.

He sat down next to Nagisa, the boy not even noticing (or maybe he did and just hated him see much he pretended Jataro wasn't there...the thought was less exciting then it should have been) him as he did so, and started to draw. He wasn't entirely sure what he was drawing, he never really was until he bothered to check. He just sketched a few pictures (a spider, a few snakes, a ladybug), but ended up just drawing Nagisa. The boy was mesmerizing, so focused and determined to learn more. He really was beautiful (unlike Jataro).

He had Lapis-Lazuli colored hair (it used to be lighter, like a sky blue, but the dirt and grime mixed with dull lighting darkened it) with patches of brown and black from one thing or another. The strange horns were still intact, though a bit unkempt as hair hung off them and stood out occasionally. His eyes were more of a teal, and had weird little diamonds in the middle because he was so amazing even the unfair universe had to reward him for existing. he was wearing a concentrated frown that looked almost a little worried, probably another habit. he wore the same outfit that he had before, though now it was a bit torn up, the dress shirt missing completely. His arms were visible, along with all the scars on them from those disgusting adults (Nagisa had never really elaborated, but there had to be a reason he disliked needles). He scratched his arm every few minutes, like he was checking for something, and he took a small breathe every time he found nothing (whether it was relieved or concerned was impossible to tell). All of the pins he adored were on his scarf now, the least dirty article of clothing as he refused to take it out of their sewer. He didn't want to loose it. His eyelashes were unusually long, but that was fine because it was cute. His White shoes were covered with dirt, and he had to cut most of his socks off with how torn they were. his shorts were covered in blood and there were faded patches of pink on his shirt and in his hair as well.

He was captivating, absolutely stunning, and Jataro would be lying if he claimed this was the only time that he ended up drawing one of the warriors. He had a sketchpad dedicated to them specifically. It was so creepy, they would hate him if they found it! Sometimes, he leaves it out in hopes that one of them will find it and hate him again, but it never happens. 

\----  
Just as Jataro was finishing up the photo-realistic art piece, Nagisa's stomach grumbled, to shocking the boy out of his trance, face paling even further and hands shaking in fear (wait, what, no, the IV gives him vitamins, was something wrong, his parents would be Disappointed disappointed disappointed if he grabbed something to eat, but even more so if he passed out on his book, what to do what to do what to do-) When he someone grab his arm. He flinched back, expecting yelling and lectures and punishment, only to be met with a familiar scratchy voice that he adored.

"Nagisa. I won't hurt you like some slimy snake." the voice promised, he couldn't quite place it but it wasn't his parents. the voices owner backed up, but Nagisa couldn't focus on him (her? them? it? it sounded masculine)

It didn't end up mattering much as the voice didn't seem to expect a response, because it had already launched into a rant about how it felt bad for snakes because they didn't have arms, but did you know they have ears? (He did, he did know that, though it was weird because he didn't remember reading it)

"-And sometimes, a snake can be born with 2 heads! Isn't that gross? I bet it's almost as ugly as me, probably where she got my name-"

"Jataro, there is not point wasting time thinking of such things." someone said in response to the boy and-wait, was that his voice? It didn't sound right, and he felt kinda numb, and he was just very confused and needed a break and he could deal with the consequences later, but this boy felt safe and Nagisa felt oddly sick, so a nap couldn't hurt?

then the boy was right in front on him, some weird mask on that made some part of him sad and another pat angry (though not at this boy, at someone else) and he vaguely registered that such a strange sight should scare him but it didn't. the boy didn't touch him, just slowly moved his work out of the way (stacking it carefully, and he should stop the boy but he can't, he can't move or feel or speak and he needed to calm down and figure out why, but that took focus and right now he was fully focused on this masked boy)

"Have you ever heard of the great Frigate-bird?" the boy drawled, looking him right in the eyes curiously. Nagisa vaguely registered a discarded art piece laying nearby and connected to the boy, though that alone shouldn't be enough to connect the two. seeing the boy was waiting for a response, he tried to nod (he wanted to seem in control of the situation, and if the boy knew more then him then he was FAILING and he couldn't deal with that at the moment) but found himself unable to lie to the boy and shook his head instead.

"well, they're this type of bird that sleeps while it's flying! it falls asleep for a few seconds at a time so it doesn't have to land!" He enthused, eyes shining like he had just revealed a dark secret, and this just confused Nagisa more (the way his heart pulled din't help either). The boy seemed to notice that his approach wasn't working well, so he tried something else.

"Who are you?" the boy asked Nagisa, pronouncing each word slowly and giving Nagisa the attention that had been given to him for the past few minutes. Nagisa frowned at that, but tried to respond anyway. It took a few tries, never feeling like his voice was his own, until he fell back into his body and was hyper aware of everything and there was to much to much to much, but it was better then nothing at all. He can't really think straight, but he does form an answer 

"I'm..I'm Na..Nagisa Shingetsu, the lil' ultimate Social Studies...and..." that should be it, but something was scratching at the back of his mind, some key information that he was missing that would tie this all together...

...

"And Sage for the Warriors of Hope." He breathed out, hating how much it sounded like a question, but the sentence made him smile because he understood a bit more, though he was still a bit out of it. 

"The New Warriors of Hope." he masked boy corrected, though he gave a relived smile and Nagisa felt proud of himself. "I wouldn't be surprised if you can't remember...But who am I?" was the next question, the boy pointing a tan sleeve at himself, and the small sad bit of his brain that hated how this boy referred to himself laid out the information. He answered the question quicker then he had stated his own identity.

"you're Jataro Kemuri, Priest of the New Warriors of hope and one of the people most important to me." he answered without missing a beat, taking a deep breath and blushing a little (How did he say something so embarrassing?). 

"...seeing my face must have started melting your brain last night if you're saying stuff like that." the boy claimed with a sick giggle that made Nagisa frown.

"I'm just stating the truth, as always, Jataro." he sighed, but didn't push it any further. "want something to eat?" he offered, pointing to the table towel and the food still laying there. 

"heh, sure. Maybe It can fix you, like chewing gum makes you focus. but chewing it to loud can make people around you focus less." Jataro compared. obviously changing the subject as well.

that's okay. it would take time. for all of them.

====  
Jataro was surprised that any of that worked. He wouldn't have thought himself smart enough to talk him out of his crisis, but he had to try.

they might hate him (and rightfully so), But he still cared for them.

He didn't really know what to do, Nagisa usually remembered to eat before studying to maximize time or something. the sickness must be throwing him off even more then they thought. This was the first time that he had broken down like this, not counting the semi-similar thing yesterday. So, he just talked. he let himself talk, hoping that his voice might keep Nagisa from floating off like a balloon. It looks like it helps a little, but not enough, so he forces Nagisa to participate in the conversation by asking direct questions. that seemed to do the trick as his eyes snapped back to focus and he started shaking, maybe not ideal but progress. Then Nagisa said some obviously untrue things and Jataro laughed at him, shaking his head at the notion and seizing the opportunity to change the subject. they ate breakfast together.

Then Jataro had an Idea and proposed that Nagisa write a story, and Jataro would illustrate it as he told it. they had done this before, but that didn't really matter. Nagisa would look through his notes, find a prompt, announce it, and they would race to see who would finish first. 

"hey, what was that thing you were saying earlier?" Nagisa asked randomly a bit later. 

"huh?"

"the thing about the bird. it seemed like you were going somewhere with that odd fact. they sleep in bursts of second, was it?" 

"Yeah!" he grinned, a warm feeling filling as he noticed that, even have asleep and unsure who he was, he listed to Jataro's rants. The warm filling filled his body and seemed to replace his brain with Cotton candy (he wondered what it would be like, to pry open his head and eat his own brain) while he fumbled with the answer,

"hum? well........Oh! you mean the great Frigate-bird bird." he recalled. "It just reminded me of you. It's nice just think about you sometimes.

It wasn't okay that none of them seemed to hate him.  
It was even less okay that he believed that less each time he said it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hwy, if anyone has anything they want to see or some head cannon they have about these guys, drop it in the comments! have a nice Day!


	3. Nagisa is sick, Kotoko takes care of him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As everyone tries to sleep, insomnia strikes one and nightmares another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw; panic attack, ungraphic violence(?)

Nagisa was tired. 

He had had a long day, waking up sick and settling an argument and studying like he had spent many restless nights doing and the crushing panic attack that followed had worn him out by itself. Adding the headache of the other half of his little group when they returned and sorting through everything they brought back, and you had one emotionally, mentally, physically exausted boy.

That just couldn't sleep.

They were all back in their individual cots, Nagisa begrudgingly accepting the largest blanket under the pretense of returning it to Kotoko when he wasn't sick anymore. Masaru had fallen asleep first, followed by Kotoko and Jataro. She asked if him wearing a ton of makeup would be alright instead of the mask? Nagisa thought it was a great idea, but Jataro sounded about as accepting of the removal of his mask as he had come to expect. Yet, Kotoko was quite stubborn. She'd get her way eventually, probably. They ended the conversation when Jataro fell asleep mid sentence and Kotoko muttered something about how inconsiderate he is as she drifted off herself. Nagisa had been feigning sleep, and no one bothered to check. Waking Nagisa up was rarely a good idea, and none of them were going to risk it. Especially after Jataro retold what happened while they were gone. He appriciated it, things are always easier to get away with when no one is paying you any mind. As he heard everyone breathes even out, he let out an annoyed groan. He hadn't expected to be able to sleep two nights in a row, but he had tried to remain optimistic. To no avail, it seemed, because disorders of any sort rarely seemed to care how optimistic you were being. Insomina, he supposed, was not the exception to this rule.

So, as was often the case for the blue eyed boy, he found himself staring at the ceiling and trying not to think about anything because he needed SLEEP, now more then ever. The less sleep he got the harder it was for him to recover, the longer he would be a burden to the other warriors. He wanted to minimize that time frame as much as possible. 

Alas, as was typically the case with these kids, it wasn't that simple. 

Maybe an hour or two after everyone fell asleep (to be fair, Nagisa hadn't been keeping track of time) a loud, shuddering gasp that sent shivers down his spine. It came from Kotoko's bed, and nightmares weren't a rare occurrence in their little group (for obvious reasons). Nagisa was usually awake and ready to comfort the others, as he rarely got a wink of sleep himself (and if he did, it never lasted long. years of days on end adrenaline shots can screw with your internal clock), and he was by Kotoko's side in an instant, all wishes for sleep dashed in an instant. this was millions of times more important. 

He took a sharp breathe at the thought of what he was going to do next, but honestly he didn't know any other way to help her. He didn't like hurting her, he hated it really. Whats more, he despised the idea of doing anything reminiscent of Monaca. Sadly, however, he had yet to find a book on psychology, so he had to work with what he knew worked. With Kotoko, what worked was pain, or roughness, or whatever you wanted to label it. It's what had to be done to help her. There was probably a better way, and he felt so USELESS not knowing, but he had no other ideas. This was what had worked thus far, so, despite his reluctance, it did tend to prove effective.

He crouched down and jabbed his finger into the pressure point on her neck. She remained unresponsive at first, shaking and crying and begging and muttering for what felt like forever, him pressing harder and harder to make the pain register and trying to keep a neutral face. until, finally, she let out a sharp yelp of pain and her eyes focused on him, continuing her begging. Biting his lip and drawing blood from the action, before he forcefully slapped her in the face, flinching at the sound of it. HE really hated hurting her, but he hated her being in whatever memory it was even more and didn't know how else to root her in reality. He was useless, really. 

~~~~  
Thankfully, only a few smacks later she had calmed down, pulled out of the horrid memory she was reliving. she was still shaking like a leaf and breathing in quick gasps and sobbing, but she was here, with him, so it was better. He held out a hand, offering to help her stand, and she shook her head, bringing herself to her feet. She couldn't help the small wave of relief that washed over her whenever she realized how much the boys respected her. Nagisa stood at least a foot away and didn't make any move to touch her, leading them both to the corner they used as a kitchen. He pulled out a bag of chips and handed to her, grabbing some graham crackers for himself. She nodded in thanks, unable to speak, and took her time eating the chips and gathering her thoughts.

"Why are you awake?" she asked the boy as she built herself back up, the question unnecessary, it was quite obvious from the ever present bags under his eyes (He used to cover them up with eye makeup, a suggestion from the Super Duper High School Fashionista herself) that he couldn't sleep.

"You woke me up." he lied smoothly, nibbling on the crackers and giving a shrug. "Not that I mind. Can I do anything for you?"

"Well, it'd be pretty cool if you just stopped lying, especially if you're going to do it with all the tact of an elephant on ice." she answered casually, crunching another chip thoughtfully. She heard Nagisa let out an annoyed sigh, not surprised with her answer but not pleased.

"I apologize." he stated blankly, though if you listened carefully you may detect a dash of sincerity. she also noticed that he was avoiding saying he wouldn't do it again. guess it was her turn to help him out a bit. God knows they all needed it.

"Nagisa, you shouldn't lie to us. We all want whats best for each other, right? that means you too idiot! It's okay if you have your own problems, cause we all do. You aren't special, so you aren't any more of a burden then the rest of us. Fall off your high horse and let us help you sometimes, yeah?" she smirked, rolling her eyes and sticking her tongue out at him. he gave another annoyed sigh, but was tinted a light pink and nodded, so she counted it as a success. 

"That's what I thought. Now, lets get you to try and sleep again, right? It's worth a shot. I'll even sing you a song!" she offered teasingly, grabbing his hand (and darkening his blush) and dragging him back to the sleeping space. she laid him down in his cot and dragged her cot over to near his. the beds were a few feet apart, but he could hear her clearly as she sang.

\----  
Nagisa was embarrassed and tired and wasn't in the mood to lose an argument to Kotoko, so he followed her down to the sleeping space and laid down, staring up at the ceiling. It took a few minutes for her to get settled, but once she did, she started singing. 

He forgot how good her singing voice was. It was REALLY good.

she sold an old, sappy song from some anime Masaru forced her to watch. A song about a mother that was searching for her child who had run away. It ended abruptly with no happy ending, Just the mother talking about a sad dream that the song started with. it was short, only about a minute and a half long, but Kotoko just repeated the childish tune until she fell asleep, Nagisa miraculously a bit ahead of her. 

All in all, they'd both had worse nights.


	4. Nagisa is sick, Masaru cares for him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa and Masaru go looking for medicine and its great.

Mararu was an idiot.

Nagisa said that with the utmost respecet, too. he was stupid. the fact was glaringly obvious. He was also overconfident, sensitive, childish, kid, endearing, pretty, and a whole slew of other words.

So, he wasn't being mean to call Masaru stupid. just honest. A firm confirmation of this was the medicine he had brought back. HE had obviously tried, but he had carried back a few jars of Vitaman gummies, cough drops, and a bunch of band-aids. All good suplies to have on hand, but none of it helped with the flu much. Thus, the next morning at breakfast, he brought it up.

++++  
"What do you mean I didn't get the stuff on the list?" Masaru groaned, pouting.

"I mean that Gummies do not count as medication, Masaru." he stated, shaking his head and setting the table towel. The boy seemed to have gotten some sleep, always a plus with him. Yet somehow, he still had managed to wake them both up early (around 2 A.M) and demand to go with him on a run so they could get some 'real medicine'.

"Why not? they have all the same vitamins." He argued stubbornly, chomping on a granola bar that Nagisa had handed him.

"Medicine is more complex then vitamins." he answered, grabbing backpacks for the pair of them.

"...fine." he relented, unable to argue with Nagisa anymore on the issue. He didn't know much about medicine. "But! you can't come! You're sick, and as your leader I can't let you!" he ordered, pointing a finger at him dramatically.

"You don't have much of a choice. You do not know what medication you need, and I do. A leader should never be off base long, right? This will minimize your time away." Nagisa reasoned, staring at the red head blankly. He thought the claim over a few times, not wanting to agree. He can do this alone! A good leader can look out for their own, so he should be able to do this!

....But, as usual, Nagisa was right. He shouldn't leave Jataro and Kotoko alone long, let alone with each other. The base would be covered in glitter again, totally not cool! With an angry sigh and a reminder to kick himself for relying on Nagisa later, he nodded reluctantly.

"Wonderful. Shall we be off then?" Nagisa asked, a smug smirk playing his lips for only a moment before falling into his usual scowl and handed over the red backpack, dawning the green one himself and walking out behind Masaru. He was the leader, after all.

\----  
Nagisa walked a few strides back from Masaru, watching him with a small content smile. He felt like hell and his head hurt and his legs felt like Jelly and he needed SLEEP, but he could settle for what little rest Kotoko had secured him last night and a cough drop. After all, Masaru needed him. whether he'd say it or not, he needed Nagisa to tell him what to grab. Nagisa would quickly exceed his expectation because really, it wasn't asking for much, and what else was he good for?

The hero danced through the streets, either facing wandering Monokumas bravely or sneaking around demons like a ninja. It was fun to watch him run around, though every time the boy faced an opponent Nagisa's heart jumped because he couldn't do ANYTHING, he couldn't help, he could just run and hide and shout warnings and fix him up after fights (scratches and bruises and . 

The adults were still angry. The Monokumas weren't their friends. The Monokuma kids had moved on.

They were alone in the world, but that was fine.

when the athlete was busy, Nagisa would be scavenging. The adults were either too big to slide under the shudder and over the counter or too stupid to try, so there was a lot of medicine back there. He grabbed all the medicine that they would be able to consume (which meant no adult medicine, at all, even if they could technically take some of it). he left a note pinned to a box with the rest of the Medicine for Big Sis and Masaru transported it to a secret spot that Big Sis and her crazy girlfriend could pick it up to help with renovations and taking care of adults. After meeting Big Sis, they all discovered that not ALL adults were demons. Just most of them.

Still, they didn't help out of the goodness of their hearts. It was Big Sis's orders, in return for not telling anyone where they are hiding, that they helped collect supplies they weren't going to use (Big Sis said it was like doing chores instead of being grounded. Kotoko kinda got it, but the rest of them were confused).

It was also nice that SOMEONE was proud of them, even if they were just following orders.

After that was done, Nagisa informed Masaru that thy had been out for about two hours, the others should be waking in about three hours, and they had all they need. Masaru grinned and gave a satisfied nod, running off with a loud shout of 'Race you back!' that made Nagisa flinch. He didn't want the attention, especially in a city full of things trying to kill them. None the less, he tried to run off after Masaru, afraid he'd get into trouble and Nagisa wouldn't even see, and that fear had him almost keeping pace, though it was obvious that Masaru was going easy. He was pobably afraid of pushing Nagisa too far, the boy realized.

It was an odd thought, someone worrying about his well being.

++++  
They reached the base and Masaru won, looking back at Nagisa and teasing him for being so SLOW, biting his tongue for a few of the mean things he said to the other boy so it was even. Nagisa was breathing heavily and collapsed when he stepped into their base, muttering something about how a leader shouldn't be a sore leader.

"Whoa, Nagisa, you okay? As the leader, you have to tell me if somethings wrong so I can fix it." He insisted, fully aware that Nagisa would brush him off without the reminder. He wasn't a complete Idiot.

"...water." The boy answered bitterly, probably upset that he played the 'I'm the leader, this is an order' card. He knew it wasn't nice, knew that it was playing on what the demons had drilled into his Sage's head (respect authority Nagisa, follow orders Nagisa, listen to those in charge Nagisa), but he wouldn't ask for help otherwise (that didn't make it okay though, he'd punish himself later). 

"okay! anything else?" Masaru questioned cheerfully, grabbing a bottled water they had found (a 32 pack unopened, lucky them) and bringing it to Nagisa. Nagisa tried to hold it, but his hands were shaking from exaustion, so Masaru poured it into his friends mouth helpfully until he had recovered enough to drink himself. 

"hand me the medicine bag." he requested with a similar bitterness for all the same reasons, sipping the water. Masaru followed the order, happy to help his friend. 

As Nagisa dug through the bag in search of medication and took a few of the right pills, they noticed no one else was asleep. Masaru order Nagisa to try sleeping some more, Nagisa saw the bags under Masarus eyes (probably from the stress he ccaused by being sick, he realised, and how Masaru must be blaming himself in some way) and said that he wouldn't unless Masau did. 

In the end, they fell asleep under a shared blanket (Nagisa took half a cap of childrens Nighquil first), leaning on each other for the comfort they had never had before the end of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, its short, I'm sorry, have a nice day


	5. Nagisa and Masaru are sick,  Jataro takes care of them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa is still sick, Masaru catches it, Kotoko takes a break, and Jataro is trying his best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, I'm really sorry this is late, I'll post a few days in a row to make up for it if I can. Gomen >.<

\----

Nagisa was horrified.

what demonic force had overcome him to allow Masaru to remain by his side as they rested, waiting for the others to wake up? IT was stupid. It was reckless.

It was selfish. He was lonely and cold, so he ignored the nagging voice in the back of his head that warned him of this very thing happening. And now, perish the thought, it had.

Masaru was sick. Their energetic leader was sick, and it was all his fault. 

Nagisa had actually managed to get a few hours of sleep, nearly collapsing in exhaustion as he and Masaru returned from their expedition around 4 a.m. Masaru had cuddled up beside him and set his face aflame as the boy hugged him and claimed that a good leader made sure his adviser got good sleep. Nagisa had been too tongue tied to protest and to tired to push him off, so he passed out next to he red headed boy without a second thought despite the dread that settled into his gut.

Now Masaru was sick and whining and his face matched his hair and he was pretending nothing was wrong and he wasn't doing very well at it and he was refusing to take any medicine and it was all Nagisa's fault. 

But lets back up a bit, yes?

~~~~

Kotoko woke up seemingly first, and that was weird. Masaru was such a go-getter and Nagisa was such a workaholic that they were always the first awake. Speaking of Nagisa, last she checked he had dragged his sleeping bag over to hers, and she knew he fell because he breathes evened , almost as if he were calming down, and she would believe that cows were stripped before she entertained the thought that Nagisa had calmed down while awake. He wasn't that good at acting, no matter how hard he tried. Confused by his lack of presence, she looked around, only to see Nagisa and Masaru cuddling (or, more accurately, Masaru cuddling Nagisa) under one of the bigger blankets with the backpacks looking full and off to the side. She smiled as she pieced together what was happening and nodded, jumping to her feet and leaving a note for the other three in case they woke up as she left very quietly, knowing how sensitive to noise Nagisa was. She was going to take advantage of this rare alone time.

==== 

Jataro woke up and dawned his mask, disappointment and pride fighting a contradictory battle in his head as he tried to decide how he felt towards himself for sleeping without the mask on. It didn't happen often, but it was happening more and more and he wasn't sure how to feel about it.

He couldn't figure it out, either, so he decided to move on for now. He could take his frustration and confusion out on a canvas or some clay later. For now, it was a new day. And, it was very quiet. For a moment, he was terrified that it had finally happened, and he refused to open his eyes.

It didn't matter if he opened his eyes though, because he could see it, he could see his friends eyes melting off and hear them screaming. They were terrified and begging for help and spitting words of loathing at him (he flinched at the thought, then frowned in confusion as to why he was upset by the comments of all things. he was watching his friends die, and he was upset by the hurtful comments he spent so much time begging for? how selfish, he deserved to be hated, and he was okay with that). They were begging for help, but wouldn't accept his help because he was gross and they'd rather die then accept his help (which was understandable) so they were dying, they were all DYING and it was his fault because he hadn't slept with hi mask on. He had been careless enough to take it off, he'd been naive enough to believe them when they said that his face wouldn't kill them ("There's no recorded event where someones mere appearance has hurt others, I doubt you're the first." "You're just saying that cause those demons told you so, right? 'Cause I know it isn't true! Would your leader lie to you?" "Stupid. you may be gross, but your face is super adorbs! Besides, wouldn't that icky demon who gave you the mask be dead before we killed her, if she saw your face?") But they were wrong, even Nagisa was wrong, because now it was dead silent in their sewer (Just his now, if he was the only one left), and he was never the first awake, and they wouldn't leave him there alone, they wouldn't (of course they would, they hated him, right? But he couldn't stand the thought, and he was stupid, so he would pretend that they would never leave him cause he was used to lying to himself), so they had to be dead, and he hadn't even been awake. what kind of friend was he, it was all his fault, it was all his fault and he was sorry, so so so sorry, it should have been him, so he cried out apologies to deaf ears that couldn't possibly hear him.

.....

Someone was holding him. Someone alive and warm, like a Pompeii worm (really warm, actually, they would be uncomfortably hot if he was thinking about it, but at the moment the heat was a sign that this person was alive, whoever it was) and they were really tense, like they were frozen despite their heat. they were shaking him and if he listened closely he'd hear that they sounded worried but composed, like a wobbly spinning plate. His eyebrows knitted as he tried to focus on the noise. He could see the noise (because he was a freak was the reason his mom gave, but Nagisa said it was syth-something) of the figures voice dance before his eyes. It looked like a melting ice cube with spikes on it, and it smelled almost like a library full of cookies.

Nagisa. the sound was Nagisa. 

With that realization, he popped back into reality, knowing that the boy was ALIVE, that he was shaking him and talking to him and warm and shaking and beautiful and sleep deprived and broken and he was perfect. He was perfect because he was there and breathing and moving and alive, he was alive, so he was perfect. 

"You...you're alive!" Jataro exclaimed, mouth stretching into a grin as he launched himself at Nagisa and hugged him. He smirked as he felt the boys face heat up and the boy himself tense up. He must really hate Jataro now, after he had done something so disgusting as touch him, and that was justified. He gave a small laugh at the thought that broke through his gross sobbing only for a moment. Then, with a shock, he felt Nagisa relax and hesitantly wrap his arms around the boy in return, saying something Jataro couldn't quite make out to someone else before directing his attention back to Jataro.

"Yes, I am alive. All four of us are. Masaru's right next to us, and Kotoko went out for a walk, but we are all alive. I promise." Nagisa responded, his calm demeanor returning after the shake he heard in the boy's voice earlier dissipate. He nodded dumbly and kept talking, babbling and trying to explain himself. 

"I thought you guys were dead...I slept. without my mask on? and. I thought your eyeballs finally melted out of your skulls." he ranted, trying to cover up how scratchy his voice was by speaking quietly. He wasn't thinking about it before, but apparently he was screaming or something because he throat felt as if a badger had tried to claw its way up and his face was red, had he been crying? Nagisa must hate him, he'd gotten his shirt all wet and gross. 

"Haven't I already told you how foolish that is? It doesn't make any sense." Nagisa sighed, shaking his head (and he almost could have convinced himself that Nagisa was angry with him, but his voice felt too much like velvet for that to be true) "Can you open your eyes? please?" The boy requested, taking Jataro's face in his hands and when he asked like that, who was Jataro to resist?

\----  
Nagisa gave a small sigh of relief as Jataro opened his lavender eyes and stared at him with a look of awe. Jataro was fine, if a bit shaky. Masaru was fine, but oddly warm (And if it was what he thought it was Nagisa might puke). Kotoko was probably fine, she could take care of herself.

"Thank you. breakfast?" he offered, untangling himself from the boy as he stood and offering his hand to help the boy stand. Jataro stared at it, still looking shocked as he stood up on his own. Nagisa nodded and led them over to the table-towel where Masaru was waiting (and looking red and sweating and oh god he was, wasn't he?), handing Jataro some uncooked Ramen noodles. they didn't have enough starch in their diet, they were all growing thin. Jataro took the block of noodles and bit into it, Nagisa and Masaru following suit. they ate, Nagisa coughing occasionally into his sleeve and Masaru looking troubled and staying oddly quiet and Jataro filling the silence with babbling that the other boys would never interrupt. Then, it happened. Masaru let out a great big sneeze, and Nagisa gulped a breath of regret because it was official now, it had to be. 

The leader was sick. It was Nagisa's fault, it had to be, there was no other explanation.

++++  
Masaru was embarrassed by the sneeze and rubbed his nose, laughing awkwardly. Before he could say anything, Nagisa was next to him, feeling his head and heartbeat and looking down his throat and treating him like those demons in the Jackets would whenever he got too roughed up at home. Masaru was terrified, the memory hitting him like a truck as he struggled to keep from screaming and pushing Nagisa and punching himself for being scared of such a distant memory and imprinting it onto NAGISA of all people. Nagisa wasn't thinking, Masaru knew that, Nagisa was scared for him and wouldn't do anything to hurt him, so it was so cowardly that he was so scared. despite how much he fought himself, when Nagisa ordered him to open his mouth a small whimper escaped, and Nagisa fell back. He saw it in the boy's eyes, the regret and self -loathing, and that motivated him to recover. The leader doesn't let others get upset.

"Hahaha! what's wrong Nagisa? Did you really think something as wimpy as a doctor would faze your leader?" he playfully mocked, sitting in front of Nagisa with a lopsided grin. he felt Jataro watching them, muttering something about how useless he was if he couldn't help, and he quickly turned around to correct the masked boy 

"None of us can always be there for each other, not even me, the leader, right?" Masaru reminded the Priest with a nod before looking back to Nagisa. The blue haired kid was nodding.

But before anyone could say anything, Masaru felt his stomach jump and rolled off of Nagisa and barfed into the sewer stream. Jataro came over and patted him on the back, holding his headphones and asking Nagisa what to do. Masaru heard Nagisa respond, but wasn't sure what was said as his throat burned and he dry heaved. They were all hungry and not eating enough (something that wasn't really brand new to any of them honestly), so there wasn't much for him to barf up.

Eventually, he stopped, and Nagisa was besides him with a bottle of water and some applesauce, saying something about a diet. He nodded along, not really picking up any of the information. When Nagisa went to help him again, he started coughing and scowled, ready to continue, when Jataro butted in.

"Hey Nagisa! You aren't really healthy either, Riiight? So. tell me how to help! I can take care of both of you, like a Beta fish!" Jataro offered, looking at the ground and mumbling like he often did when suggesting something. He still wan't confident that any of them would take him seriously. But, like so many other things, they were working on it. None of them could really tell Jataro no on the rare occasion that he asked for something, whether he knew it or not. And so, after a moment of trying to find a reason to refuse, Nagisa nodded and wrote down a ton of stuff on a paper he handed to Jataro. the boy nodded and sat them both down in bed, giving Nagisa a fiction novel so he wouldn't try to study it (Nagisa grumbled a bit and scowled, but still read it. he looked relaxed, kinda, as relaxed as he ever gets, so it was nice) and gave Masaru some weird origami thing he made (a 'Chinese finger trap' he called it). The next hour or so went quite calmly, Jataro running small errands (get some water, give medication, get a new book, get Maseru out of the trap again) happily and all of them just taking a deep breathe.

Really, they all needed a break. this kinda sorta worked.


	6. INTERMISSION- Kotoko meets a visitor~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey hey! heres a cute short chaper for ya'll as an apology for the last late update.

~~~~  
Kotoko was confident. Some may even say, a bit too confident. She was carrying an Ice pick to jab into the eye of any wandering Monokuma (or, if the occasion rises, demon) unlucky enough to cross her path. she knew exactly where she was going, a hole in the ground big enough to lay down in that they had hooked up to a kinda-filtered hose, for washing purposes. The boys were stinky and gross and barely ever took a bath (Jataro thought that the smell suited how gross he was, Masaru insisted that no demons meant he didn't have to, and Nagisa Just simply forgot to most of the time). She, however, cleaned herself as often as she could (because she was dirty, so dirty, she could feel the ghosts of hands all over her and the water gave her the illusion of washing it away, if only for a second, so she could pretend she was normal and not dirty dirty dirty) because she couldn't stand the smell of the sewer and liked smelling squeaky clean, like a normal girl.

And so, act two of the day, she was wandering through the tunnels and directing herself to the 'tub', smiling innocently but not making a sound. She had plenty of practice being quiet, even when she wanted to scream. 

Begin act three, where things go off the script that she had written in her head for the day, as she heard a scream come from down the passage to her right.

A very familiar scream, in fact.

The scream of an adorbs girl whom she was all too familiar with.

"TOKO! HELP!" The girl yelped, her cries drawing Kotoko closer before she had a chance to stop her feet from moving. When she was in front of the girl she gave a resigned sigh, deciding to follow through with driving the Icepick through the Monokuma's eye, tackling the about-to-be to the ground to get them both away from the beast as it exploded. 

She took a shuddering breath, not used to being so heroic (maybe Masaru wass wearing off on her). Komaru looked shocked, and as Kotoko was about to stand up she suddenly felt a lot lighter and her shirt was suddenly really tight and there was something cold and sharp against her throat and she opened her eyes and-

oh.

"Kyaaa! to be so assertive with a grade schooler! And here I thought you were already in a relationship!" Kotoko squealed, giving a shit-eating grin and covering up her trembling with an innocent giggle. 

"Listen here you little bitch!" The red eyed freak in front of her started, tongue lolling out of her mouth. "I can't kill ya, cause you aren't a cute guy. I have standerds. But I swear, if you hurt this girl I'll make sure to have a ton of fun with one of your little bastard friends, ya hear?" the brunette growled, and kotoko saw red.

She reached her hand up without even thinking it through and grabbed onto the girl's tongue, yanking it straight down with eyes as cold as ice.

"Listen here you ugly skank. I just saved your girlfriends life, mostly because of one of my Bastard Friends took a liking to her. I wouldn't expect a 'thank you' from a freak like yourself, but I swear to all that is adorbs, make a threat like that again and I will shov this pick through that disqusting thing yo call a face." She stated blankly, making point blank eye contact with a straight face.

"hey..guys...let's calm down here, okay? please, Syo?" An obviously shaken voice asked from their left, giving the taller of the two a pleading look. With a grunt, the serial killer (well, the offical one at least) dropped Kotoko on her butt, the grade schooler groaning in pain as she hit the floor before springing back up with a carefully placed innocent smile. She looked to Komaru and folded her hands together, resting her chin on them and closing her eyes to perfect the pose.

"Awww, thank you! Komaru-chan, was it?" kotoko inquired, giving a curtsy with her torn skirt before making eye contact with the average girl. 

"I-It was nothing, really...How are you, Kotoko-chan?" Komaru asked kindly, obviously still scared of her as she packed up a half step and averted her eyes. This, however, was understandable. Kotoko had done some deplorable things, from trying to kill her to tourturing her to selfishly begging her to press a button. It made sense that Komaru wasn't comfortable. To be honest, Kotoko wasn't really either. Only Nagisa could really talk to her, so none of the others had interacted with her (or her crazy girlfriend) since Monaka died. 

"Me? Smelly and hungry and tired and in constant fear of my life. How about you?" she ansered with her usual smile playing her face, flinching a bit at the name. "And, please, I'd prefer if you used a differnt honorific. Or just dropped it." She requested, unable to keep a small tremble out of her voice. Monaka was the last one to call her that, and the conections to the title only got worse the further back she went.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Komaru apologized, bowing her head immidiatly. She was scared of Kotoko. She could see Syo glaring at her, rubbing her tounge and cringing in pain. Kotoko smiled and shook her head, waving her hand dismissively.

"No no, please don't worry about it! You didn't do much wrong, after all." Kotoko excused, nodding as if to cancel any further arguments on the topic. Komaru hesitated a moment before also nodding, glancing at the red eyed teenager beside her before gasping.

"Oh! I don't think you two have properly met yet, right?" She started, feeling vaugly uncomfortable with the aura surrounding them. "Um..Kotoko, This is Syo-san." She introduced awkwardly, Kotoko's eyes widening.

"Kyaaa! soooo scary! You're the serial killer Big Sis used to talk about!" Kotoko enthused, demeanor going deadly in an instant. "You were also part of that group of demons that killed Big Sis." she stated, voice hollow.

"Kyahahahahah! Bogus! You're quite the killer yourself, though nowhere near as tactful as myself. And I was part of no such group! That would be my counterpart." SHe corrected, crying tears of laughter and patting the little girls head, receiving a pout.

"Well, it hardly matters. She's dead NOW, so it's all in the past, yes?" she mused, fixing her hair and giving a polite curtsey to Syo. The killer seemed suprised, but shrugged it off

"Eh, whatever kid. It isn't my problem." she claimed, though she shot a warning glare at Kotoko and tilted her head at Komaru, meaning clearly received with a nod.

"Well, it was lovely seeing you ladies again, but I mut be off." Kotoko sighs, putting on an air of regret and waving goodbye to the odd pair as she continued on the way to her bath with a smile. Komau was pretty okay, though they weren't very good with eachother yet, and Syo was ebtertaining if nothing else. 

With that thought in mind, she bathed in the water that gave her a break from ghostly touches and headed back to their super secret base.


	7. Nagisa and Masaru are sick,  Kotoko takes care of them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kotoko returns from her outing a few hours later to two grumpy and sleepy boys and another one who needs a break.

~~~~  
Kotoko was feeling pretty relaxed. And she didn't trust it one bit. 

She had a pretty nice morning, waking up first (though not really, but semantics) and running into a few past acquaintances. She actually managed to take her bath and escape some of her mental anguish for a while. She may have soaked a bit too long though, and she felt to calm for it to be true. Like she was suppressing some unease unconscionably and something just wasn't quite right.

This hunch is proven true when she finishes the ladder climb up to there base and sees Masaru and Nagisa, seemingly still asleep. Very odd,as one of them never stopped moving and the other was a workaholic. The next problem arose when she made eye contact with a masked boy who was nearly crying from the taxing stress of caring for these two dorks.

"Sheesh, I was gone a few hours. What happened?" She asked, waking over and sitting besides Jataro. The boy was obviously tired but pretending not to be, saying a bit even though he was still sitting. She gave an exasperated sigh and tapped him two times, the sign that they had come up with as permission to touch either Kotoko or Masaru. It was Nagisa's idea, naturally. Jataro dropped his head onto Kotoko's shoulder without hesitation, the impact of his head hurting a little and making her jump. She allowed the action, with a smile and a slight nod, the subtle approval seeming to dishearten the boy. She was annoyed with how cautions the other two always were. She wasn't some doll that would be easily shattered if they did something wrong (Well, she kinda was, they kinda all were, but admitting it wasn't something she'd do any time soon, she much preferred being bitter) and they didn't need to treat her like one. It was refreshing how boldly and recklessly Jataro always acted in that regard. He would still wait for her to initiate a hug, but he would hug her back until she couldn't breath, stuff like that. It made her feel strong, like he thought she was better then she was. Though, a part of her knew, some if not all of these occasion were guided firmly by his attempts to make her hate him. It was one unhealthy fixation fueled by another. How poetic.

"well...." Jataro started, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. "Nagisa is sick. Like, weirdly hot sick, like something is setting his insides on fire, right? And, now, Masaru was puking his guts out like a fly. Oh! But he didn't eat it after, like a fly would. That would be gross. Almost as gross as me." The boy answered with a small smile. "So. Now...I'm taking care of them? Or trying too." He finished with a nod and a yawn she didn't hear but felt.

"You should get some sleep, Snakey." she recommended, using his nickname and leading him over to a bed. "I've got it from here."

She may or may not have been lying.

\----  
Nagisa woke up and his head hurt a lot and he tried to stand up but was scolded by a shrill voice so he laid back down and opened his eyes instead. 

"Kotoko? When did you get back?" He inquired, wincing at the "can yof his own voice. he would never get used to that.

"Not super long ago. 20 minutes-ish? I'm taking over for Jataro for the day. NO arguments." she responded with the smile she always wore that was still hard (but not impossible, if he weren't so tired and sick) to see through. 

"okay, I guess." He groaned. He never thought he would think this, but he was too sick to argue with her. Or maybe he just knew better by now. who cares. "Can you get me some more pain killers and a new book?"

"How rude. What do you say when you want something?" Kotoko teased in an imitation of one of their old teachers, laughing at herself. He smirked a bit, it was kinda funny.

"now, ms.Buya." he responded, matching the tone he had used ti reply. It was how he had landed in detention and and met the other 3 (4) in the first place. Best mistake of his life.

Kotoko nodded at his reply and laughed again, the memory seeming to improve her mood. He was happy that she was so happy.  
She retrieved the requested Items, getting him a Animorphs book, in English from some weirdo's home. He wouldn't usually read such a thing, but he was rusty on his English and this was the only way to practice now. He took the pill and started reading it to himself aloud in a whisper, working on his pronunciation as well. English was hard, Kotoko fluffed his pillow and occasionally tried to help him figure out a word (She knew English, some of her producers here American). He knew she didn't like talking in English though, so he just kept quiet, aside from the occasional request. 

++++  
Masaru woke up to his throat burning and grabbed for the 'puke bowel' Nagisa had asked Jataro to get earlier. He threw up in it, feeling more then a little embarrassed. The leader shouldn't seem so weak in front of others! It was kinda okay though, at least more okay then it would have been if it was anyone else. He trusted his priest, fighter, and sage, more then anyone else. That could never change. He doesn't see how it ever could.

After a few minutes, he sits up, clearing his throat to try and scrape up whatever dignity (big word, he learned it from Nagisa) he could. He asked for a glass of water, and didn't realize Kotoko was back until she handed him the glass. He startled and grinned, yelling in excitement and quieting down when Nagisa shushed him.

"Yeah, of course I'm back, dummy. Couldn't leave you losers alone." she sighed, taking his glass as he finished drinking "Jataro said to give you this when you woke up." She informed him, handing her his new arch enemy.

Chinese handcuffs.

with a grunt, he took them and shoved a finger into either side. He took a deep breath through his nose and steeled himself, trying to force his way out of the puzzle and not really succeeding. They made him angry, but they gave him something to focus on, and that was the point. 

~~~~  
Kotoko is technically supposed to be taking care of them, but they're a bit too stubborn to accept help at the moment. That was okay though, Just made her life easier. She read an old Magazine and waited for every order they had, following it with her brand of sass and caring that she reserved for just her three boys.


	8. All of the boys are sick, Kotoko takes care of them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Masaru's 24 hour bug might lst a bit linger the expected, Nagisa is finally getting kind of better ish, Jataro somehow caught the sickness from them boh, and Kotoko did not sign up for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, shout out to Chia~Senpai on Amino and all of my lovely commenters, your feedback gives me motivation to keep this going!

Kotoko loved the other three. 

Honestly, she did. Once upon a time she wouldn't have dreamed of such a thing being true. once upon a time, she would have dismissed their deaths in a second if that was what her princess was doing, would have shot insult after insult at Jataro and denied Masaru's courage and leadership and laughed at Nagisa as he had an attack, hell she probably would have killed them herself if that was what the Mage requested. Boys were smelly and icky and gross and pervy and stupid and lazy and horrible, she didn't need any of them. she only needed HER.

However, those days were far in the past (Well, maybe a month and a half in the past, but to a child that was ages and ages). These days, She could honestly say that these boys meant the world to her and more, and SHE could go choke on shit and die with all the other demons (except maybe the about to be that escaped). 

So, really, she wanted to help them all. She did. She hated seeing them in so much pain, especially if she could do anything to help. however, that being said...

She just might kill one of them anyway. 

Now, now they were all sick. Apparently Kotoko had been gone far longer then she planned to be or thought she was (probably because of the weirdos she met on the way to said bath and the detour they led her on, if only for a bit), Because Jataro had managed to catch sickness from both of the other boys. Somehow. He had woken up that morning much like Masaru had yesterday and threw up, thankfully (but still kinda gross) reaching over and grabbing Masaru's empty puke bowl from the night before. Nagisa Had been awoken by the noise and Kotoko followed afterwards, Masaru remaining blissfully unaware as he slept. With nothing more than a nod to each other, they agreed not to wake him up. he needed rest. They also decided not to tell him. He'd feel guilty, being a leader that slept through the peril of one of them. Even if none of them blamed him (and they didn't of course), they could all personally attest (to varying degrees of severity) that forgiveness from over rarely alleviated how they blamed themselves. 

Thus, they all got up fairly early (Kotoko felt responsible as the only one not sick, Jataro couldn't go to bed for obvious reasons, and Nagisa had the same snowballs' chance in hell sleeping that he always had). Kotoko got them all some dried fruits that expired next week (Bananas for Jataro, Prunes and raisins for Nagisa, and Plums for herself, with tomatoes set to the side for Masaru and throwing out the green apples for obvious reasons) and they snacked on the prepackaged food (they couldn't really call it a meal, it wasn't a meal, but at this point there was little difference between a meal and a snack as long as they ate.) as the sun rose. 

Kotoko insisted on them staying in bed and had brought them their food, taking the puke bowl with a scowl and rinsing it out before returning it to its place aside their leader. She smiled down a him. He was so cue when he wasn't saying anything stupid, she just wanted to kiss his dimpled cheek. However, she resisted, because she knew better then to touch Masaru like they knew better then to touch her. Instead, she walked away, finding a hard hat and nodding. they didn't have another bowl to waste (they ate out of the other bowls, she refused to eat from a bowl Jataro puked in, washed or not), so this wold have to do. 

She gave it to he half asleep Jataro with a smile and he nodded with a small frown, trying to sit up. Kotoko shook her head and pushed him back lightly, retrieving the knitting needles and yarn she knew he'd been reaching for. He had been trying to knit them all matching sweaters as winter drew nearer, but that was hard seeing how hard anything was to come by anymore. In the end, they hadn't been able to find exactly the same yarn twice ever, and all of the sweaters looked like they had patches because of the mismatched shades of the same color. None of them cared though. Nagisa never took off the scarf Jataro had made him, and the she and Masaru would often complain about Nagisa being Jataro's favorite to cheer up the priest and fluster the Sage. It was nice that Jataro took pride in something, even if he did insist that they should hate him for daring to be better then them. They just kinda shrugged and nodded, still pretty unsure how to deal with each others trauma.

"Thanks." the boy muttered, taking his hands out of his sleeves to take a hold of the knitting needles and continuing on the craft, in the middle of making Masaru's sweater. He was the leader and went out most often, so it only made sense he got his first. Besides, Nagisa already had a gift. Kotoko nodded, keeping all of that to herself for the moment. She didn't want to catch whatever it was that they had. Honestly, if she wasn't the only properly vaccinated one here they'd be pretty fucked. 

She walked away from one working boy to another, approaching Nagisa as he (once again) tried to leave his cot to get a book. Kotoko scowled again, putting him back to his bed. 

"what book do you want, you nerd?" she teased with a roll of her eyes, amazed that she hadn't punched one of them yet. She retrieved him a book and thanked whatever god was watching Masaru wasn't awake.

Speak of the Monaca.  
++++

Masaru woke up whining and complaining about everything hurting, though that stopped once he woke a bit more. He was the leader. Leaders are always morning people. Or, at least, in every Manga he's read. So, he had to learn to wake up happy, something he could usually do anyway cause he was already a hero. He gave a groan of annoyance as he saw Kotoko coming towards him. She'd confine him to bed for another day, and then he'd be sooooo bored again! Kotoko gave him some dried fruit and a glass of water, pointing his puke bowl out Just in case before moving on. He shrugged and ate the food, trowing up halfay through and being unable to finish it. He'd do that later. He really wanted to go help the others, they were all sick and thats what good leaders do! But. Kotoko wouldn't let him! And Nagisa said she was right! so he really couldn't argue with that. he could hardly handle arguing with one of them, let alone them both.

She handed him a tennis ball to play with, and he ended up just bouncing it against a wall. the repetitive noise seemed to calm him down and, despite his energy, he fell asleep.

The rest weren't super behind him. Except Nagisa, but did he even count?


	9. Masaru is sick, Kotoko and Nagisa take care of him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa wakes with a clear head, just in time to stop Kotoko from killing someone, probably Masaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY LOOKIE GUYS  
> I'M ALIIIVE  
> AND NAGISA IS FINALLY NOT SICK (for now)  
> 0w0  
> YAAAAY
> 
> WARNINGS:  
> -panic attack  
> -very breif mention of kotoko's past  
> -graphic violence and child abuse scene from Masaru's perspective, just skip it if you can't read it. summary of scene: bad nightmare, he wakes up.

~~~~  
Kotoko was just about done with these boys.

She had taken care of every single one of Masaru's whines without complaint, cleaning puke and changing the blankets and checking on the others EVEN MORE then she already had been because he HAD to know how they were doing every second of every day. For being their brave and strong leader (Something she would never doubt again, he was brave enough to protect them even now and strong enough to fight against everything), he sure was such a whiny little kid when given the chance. She couldn't tell if she was proud of him being able to show such weakness or just annoyed with it all.

Then there was Nagisa, who had the opposite issue, refusing to ask for anything besides a glass of water and constantly trying to make his was over to retrieving a text book. Honestly, any Demon that had labeled Nagisa the pure angel that did no wrong and followed the rules always could eat shit because he was as sneaky as a fox, he just happened to be as quiet as a mouse and that made his as annoying as a parrot. His refusal to request anything made her want to rip her hair out from the sheer lack of doing anything for him when she was supposed to be.

Finally there was Jataro, beautiful Jataro who had literally SCREAMED when she took his mask so he wouldn't puke all over it and she had to calm him down by doing a bit of that makeup she had offered before, not enough to make him actually look different, but he was in no condition to check a mirror, so he begrudgingly took her word. She almost felt bad, she knew he Hated lying, but it is how it is. after that, he had watched her care for the others while he knitted and switched between mimicking Masaru and mimicking Nagisa's manner, depending on whom she looked more willing to strangle. Whatever it took to make her hate him even more.

On the bright side, she had collapsed from pure exhaustion eventually and had the only well night of sleep she can recall having since ever, simply because her mind was too tired to produce a nightmare. However, that small victorious bliss was ripped away from her as only a couple of hours later she was jolted awake from her beauty sleep by the sound of Masaru whining again. She let out a long suffering groan at the noise and rose to her feet, just about ready to smother him with his own pillow, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. 

"Kotoko, calm down. It is a nightmare, see?" A calm voice spoke behind her. It lacked the sleepy undertone of someone who had just woken up and she had half a mind to yell at the boy for not sleeping AGAIN, but she stopped herself to listen.

The whine she had heard was, in fact, not a request of her, or of anything specifiaclly really. It was more of a pleading then a whine at all, she realized, and she could all but feel her heart shatter as she realized what it was exactly.

He was begging for mercy, or forgiveness, or even death. He wanted whatever he thought was happening to stop. And they both knew exactly what his dream was. 

As she had said to herself (but never out loud), she hated seeing the boys (Her Boys) upset. So, even if this was no where near the first time she had heard this exact thing from this exact redhead, she still felt as heartbroken as the first time she heard it.

Good thing she was an actress, then, as she let out a scoff that (if it had been anyone but the scholar behind her) came across as uncaring and annoyed as she crossed her arms and stomped over to the nightmare ridden boy, Nagisa behind her.

They approached his cot, all previous malice vanished as they looked over the shivering and whimpering boy, curled into a ball tighter then most people would recognize as possible. They both knew better then to touch Masaru. Feeling physical contact was NEVER a goo idea for him. While it woke Kotoko up and used shock to snap her from her horrors, it only reinforced whatever the Hero's perception of reality was and plunged him further into his mind. 

The only thing that had proven to work with him was patience, speaking words of encouragement until he woke himself up as they prayed for him to awaken quicker then he did, because every moment of seeing him like this felt like an eternity. It was always Nagisa's job to do that, as Kotoko couldn't bear to say things so kind and Gentle (and she knew none of them blamed her for it even though they SHOULD) and Jataro would only antagonize him in hopes of generating hate that seemed to be depleting (though it wasn't there in the first place, and only Jataro was unaware of that). 

"Nagisa, look at me." she commanded, not even waiting for a response as she turned on him and grabbed his face, inspecting him as well as she could. she pressed her palm to his forehead and noticed the fever was no longer there. His nose wan't running anymore and a bit of color had somehow returned to his face, though he still lacked sleep. He looked recovered for the most part, and after having him promise as much she let him go to comfort the boy, only weakened as she heard a strangled scream cut back, quite literally, by a bite.

++++  
All he could feel was pain, eyes squeezed tight and mouth desperately trying to remain shut on command.

"Listen here you little bastard! If you keep screaming like that, someone's gonna call the police, and I'll be off to jail! Do you really think there's anyone else out there willing to take in your punk ass?" His father's voice slurred, snarled, screeched, Masaru couldn't really tell as he was too focused trying to listen, because good little boys get to eat and go to school and sleep and maybe even get a lighter beating, and to be a good little boy he had to listen, for once in his life.

Besides, his father wasn't wrong. He never was, Masaru had never even considered claiming as much. Who would want a short fused trouble making scarred and weak thing like himself?

'No one' one voice in his head said with finality, while another one whispered 'they do', but he shook that one off. He didn't even know who 'they' were, probably some hallucination. Just one more thing wrong with him.

He was useless once again, however, as he couldn't stop wailing, even if he was a bit quieter. He knew somewhere in the back of his brain that he had been beaten enough that it should have stopped by now. His father usually got bored or tired or wanted him to do something by now, or Masaru should have passed out from the pain or the shock because he was SURE, from experience, that he had broken at least one arm, so why was he still awake? 

It didn't make any sense, but it didn't have to because the thought wasn't too strong, overwhelmed by his willpower being focused on shutting up.

...  
...  
...  
Then he heard a voice, quiet at first but growing louder by the second.

"Wake up, Masaru."  
"You are fine, Masaru."  
"A leader should be able to tell a dream from reality, honestly!"  
"Shut up Kotoko, check on Jataro."  
"Come on, you are the brave hero."  
"We need out strong leader, Masaru."  
"Come on, it's me, Nagisa."

Wake up? But he WAS awake. Everything HURT, so, so, so much, how could he possibly be asleep? He vaguely recalled someone describing Phantom Pain to him, and couldn't quite tell why it mattered or how it connected. He clearly was NOT fine, bloody broken nose and ribs, probably, and bruises everywhere, how was he 'fine'? Him, a leader? Who would ever want him as a leader? Or defend him? Or call him a Hero? Or sire him as BRAVE, out of all the things to call a coward like himself? Or claim that he, as he laid curled up sniveling on the ground, was strong? He was convinced that the voices had the wrong guy, but then they used his name again and he went through all the speech that had been spouted at him

Kotoko. Pink hair and pigtails and viciousness and strawberries and Chestnuts (Peeled) and untouchable and brave, truly brave, not in the way he claimed to be. An actress. A victim. a Fighter.

Jataro. A brown mask that reminded him of wet cardboard and a voice that sounded kinda creepy and Honesty and a hatred for being loved that Masaru hated. An artist. A Latch Key Kid. A Priest.

Nagisa. blue hair that resembled the devil the stupid adults (demons?) pretended he wasn't. Books and help. A better leader then himself, though neither would admit it. A scholar. A test Subject. A Sage.

...Monaca? He felt a jolt of anger at the mere thought of the name and decided to not dwell on the princess.

They were the Warriors of hope. He could very clearly recall killing his father himself. 

So, this WAS a dream. The voice, Nagisa, was right, as always. Masaru took deep breathes and thought of waking up, of escaping because he could, because he was a strong and brave leader fit for the warriors.

And he woke with a start.

His eyes were still tightly shut as he feared being wrong, was afraid he had imagined the other warriors and their triumph over the demons and he would open his eyes to that demon. But he smelled the familiar stench of the sewer that other kids would cringe at, and it gave him the courage to open his eyes to see a kneeling Nagisa to his left, looking over him without bothering to mask his worry. He heard a very faint sigh of relief from Kotoko as she approached him, sitting behind him and waiting with a rare patience for her.

It took him a moment to recognize what she was doing. She was silently requesting permission to touch him. he gave a small nod and lifted one of his hands and leaving tears in his skin and blood in his fingernails as he gave her and Nagisa two shaky taps each, unmoving besides that. his eyes zoned out on the floor as he felt Kotoko's fingers leaf through and comb out his hair, rooting him in this dream like reality. Nagisa tenderly took one of his hands, not wanting to restrict Masaru's control in anyway.

He could pull away from both of them, if he wanted to, and neither of them would stop him or get angry or cling to him anyways. He was in total control of the situation, and he was ever grateful to them for reinforcing it. He focused on calming down, every muscle in his body so tense he was sure he would be sore for days, though these dreams were common enough that he was used to the dull ache. He heard Nagisa counting his breaths, 'in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, hold, 1, 2, 3, out, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 1. Repeat, in, 1, 2,' and so on, and Masaru found himself following the soft instructions, though some tiny fire wanted to yell at them for babying him. He was the leader! He should be stronger than a stupid dream!

Despite that, he allowed them to continue, the angry voice nearly inaudible in in his mind over Nagisa's counting and Kotoko's light teasing (how is your hair always sticking up, like some stupid shonen protagonist anyway?) and the small tugs of his hair that he might be afraid of if it was anyone else. 

He understood that Kotoko couldn't be fully nice and indulgent, she had to be inflicting some sort of pain, it's how she had her own control. He also understood that if it did bother him, because sometimes it did, she would scoff at him for being a crybaby but be softer anyway because she didn't WANT to hurt them, she just HAD to sometimes, and that's okay. Or at least, as okay as any of them were.

He eventually clered his head enough to inturupt Nagisa's soft, repetitve counting with a question, and if his voce shook they all ignored it.

"You should get some rest. Aren't you still sick?" He almost accused, a small frown gracing his lips as he studied the boy. He wasn't that good at detecting a lie, but he could try. Kotoko was there anyway.

"I'm feeling better. It seems that your instant nurturing aided my recovery." He admitted with a small smile, Kotoko humming lightly to confirm his claim.

Masaru smiled and nodded lightly, eventually relaxing himself. He tried to get up, to do SOMETHING, because he was the Leader and he should be helping. However, Kotoko gave his hair a tug as he moved to sit up and scoffed.

"Like you're going anywhere. You need rest, stupid!" she scolded, ruffling his hair playfully, a silent 'no harm done'. He glanced at Nagisa for assistance and couldn't help his pout as Nagisa smirked and shook his head.

"I'm smart enough not to argue with her on this. please follow my lead." he shrugged, earning a nod and beaming, innocent smile from Kotoko and a reluctant sigh from Masaru as he drifted back to sleep to the softer sensation of Kotoko's fingers and Nagisa's light humming of a classical song learned long ago. 

It was...Nice.


End file.
